Dealing with "others" Anxiety and Depression

    Anxiety and depression are very common mental health struggles among many individuals. We are given many tools and resources on how to handle these emotions and struggles. The one thing not talked about enough is how to handle your emotions when trying to help others with their depression and anxiety. A very common situation is having a friend come to you with their problems. You always want to listen and help your friends but sometimes you need to set boundaries to protect your own mental health. I once had a friend who whenever I was around her, she only wanted to talk about one thing, her boy problems. She would come to me telling me how badly he was affecting her mental health and how she was depressed, and he was giving her daily anxiety. I listened to her and gave her advice and resources but no matter what I did she was constantly going back to this boy, and it was ruining our friendship. Her energy was bringing me down. It had felt like a one-sided friendship, and I felt like my problems were not relevant and I was no longer benefiting from that friendship. I spoke to her about it and how I will always be there for her and listen to her problems, but she needed to listen to mine. It was a good conversation and improved our friendship.

    Another situation I had encountered was I had gone to a basketball game with my younger cousin and just when we were about to walk in, she looked at me and started running away. I was so confused and followed her into the bathroom, and she started throwing up. She had then opened up to me telling me she has been having bad anxiety and panic attacks. We then sat on the bathroom floor talking about life and taking deep breaths. This was a new situation for me. I felt overwhelmed and concerned for her. We went back to her house and talked with her mom and had a deep conversation about mental health and how to help each other. After my cousin went to sleep my aunt and I went upstairs, and I had asked her how she was doing with all of this. From my perspective I could tell my aunt was in distress watching her daughter go through something hard knowing there was nothing she could do to fix it. I had told my aunt that she needed to take care of herself in order to take care of her daughter. She had given my cousin all the resources and support she possibly could, and that this situation was out of her hands. Moral of this story and why this is important is because even though you want to take care of other people you need to prioritize yourself and your mental health above all. You can always give someone resources and offer your help but at the end of the day you need to be your first priority.